Bankers Without Coffee: A Horror Story

Oct 3, 2018 | Kansas City, Personal

By Bridget Clark, SBA Credit Manager, Core Bank
Most Bankers require coffee in the morning for their brains to function properly. I’m one of those rare Bankers who doesn’t drink coffee, but I’m fully aware that I should never talk to, or look a Banker in the eye, until said Banker has consumed their required gallon of coffee in the morning. A few weeks ago, there was a two week coffee drought at the Core Bank Overland Park office…
The main character in this story is a brand new coffee machine, which is displayed proudly in the Core Bank lobby. It’s ready to serve clients and employees alike.  This dispenser is not your standard-grade coffee pot. It provides fresh-brewed coffee and hot chocolate within seconds. And it’s the Mercedes Benz of coffee makers.

One hot and muggy evening in late June, the coffee dispenser became ill.

One unlucky Banker tried to get a cup of Joe to stay awake as she burned the midnight oil, only to have water spray everywhere. Worried about ruining the lobby interior, she yelled for help, quickly turned off the water valve, cleaned up the mess, and went home. The following morning, another unsuspecting Banker could not figure out why there was no coffee coming out of the dispenser. Realizing the water valve was turned off for some reason, she turned the valve back on and commenced to filling her coffee mug. Again, water sprayed everywhere, she was drenched, and no coffee was produced.
Soon, other sleepy, cranky Bankers trickled into the office to start a new work day. Once it was discovered that there was no coffee, panic ensued. Everyone stared at each other in disbelief, trying to comprehend why the machine could no longer produce coffee, asking questions such as “how do we locate more coffee, how could this happen to me, am I being punished, WHY IS THERE NO COFFEE???”
Rest assured, someone eventually ran out and purchased gallons of coffee, while another placed an urgent call with the coffee service company to come and fix the machine. Unfortunately, it took the coffee service company two weeks to get the machine repaired. Bankers’ hopes slowly diminished every day they came into the office to find the coffee machine not working. Morale dropped, productivity nose-dived, and the minimal amount of coffee that was purchased outside of the office became a hot commodity (pun intended). There were rumors that Bankers left the office to go find coffee multiple times a day. Desperation was present.  Coffee was needed ASAP!
Finally, when Bankers were ready to give in to a good cry due to the lack of coffee, the coffee service repairman showed up. The entire office was overjoyed. Smiles came back, there appeared to be more pep in the Bankers’ step as they got back to work (pretty sure it was the caffeine that kicked in), and productivity came back to normal levels in the office. The coffee drought was over! Luckily, no one was physically hurt, but the emotional scars will last a lifetime.
We invite everyone to come in and try out our amazing coffee machine. While you enjoy that amazing cup of coffee, we invite you visit with our well-caffeinated Bankers about all of your personal and business financial needs.